We are the vacuous, harmless, mindless masses. We have little to offer and expect little in return. I work incredibly hard to maintain the safe, comfortable, false reality which I wrap myself in like a pox infected blanket. Please do not challenge me. I wish for nothing new. Mainline my entertainment. Nothing of substance please. Thinking is a slippery slope. Should I turn on the TV one day and find myself watching programming which insists that I use my brain I may wake up one morning using that brain to think about war, death of innocents, the raping of the environment or any number of things I would much rather not think about. I would much prefer to shut my brain off entirely and watch C grade celebrities’ dance to bad music. Please don’t make me look for ways to spend my money. I certainly do not want to waste time searching for ways to occupy my mind. Drop my complacency off at my front door. In return I promise to never ask questions. I vow to spend massive amounts of my minimal income on products I don’t need and what I don’t spend you can take away from me. Use it fuel the machines of war. Use it to line your pockets. Use it to discover new and exciting ways to kill strange and frightening peoples. I will never question why. Stoke the flames of my fear so that you may use it to your own ends. Tell me delicious lies. Tell me you will keep me safe. Tell me you NEED to keep me safe. Show me the horrors that lie just outside my door and I promise I will never open it.

  I will wake up and go to work. I will come home and watch the “news” and reality TV and I will go to bed. I will do it over and over again. I will not vote to elect my political representatives but I will vote for the next American Idol. I have my priorities in order you see. When I sit down in my living room to watch reality television I expect no true reality. Reality makes me uncomfortable and that is not something I can live with. You have taught me well to live in fear and I have grown to feel quite comfortable in its grip. I wish for nothing more than to be a good American and I know quite well what that entails:  A sound lack of knowledge and no desire to inform myself, a strong fear of my neighbors and the rest of the world, and an unquenchable desire for new products with names I recognize. I have listened well, careful not to think outside of the box.

I now have a healthy and irrational fear of brown people and box cutters.